Da Ya Think I'm Sexy
by scarlett2112
Summary: Can there be anything hotter and/or more embarrassing than a homemade sex tape? Damon and Elena are about to find out... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIBERIA21


**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EVA! It's 3/2 in the Czech Republic... _**

**_I remember we first ran into each on a Vampire Diaries fan site, TVD . net, if I remember correctly. Although I don't remember us talking much at all then. We talked when I posted my first ever story 'Halo'. That seems so long ago. Asking you to be my beta reader and having you with me now as my co-writer is the better than I could have ever imagined. I love you dearest friend. _**

* * *

_Come on, Elena. We're the only ones who are going to watch it," Damon cajoles, a gleam in his eyes._

_"A sex tape, Damon, really?" _

_"Humor me. It'll be fun." _

_"Damon, no..."_

_"Consider it my birthday present..." he waggles his brows playfully. _

_Dropping her chin to her chest, Elena reluctantly agrees. _

_"Yes," he pumps his fist in the air and hurries to the closet to get his tripod and Nikon D7200 DX. After setting it up, he stalks towards her like a panther circling its prey._

_"It's hard to be in the mood under these circumstances," she crosses her arms over her chest._

_He reaches up and takes her head in his hands, placing one on either side of her face. "I love you," he breathes. Gentle, warm lips graze over hers in a whisper of a kiss. Elena smiles, knowing full well that he's about to seduce her. His voice has the husky timbre she loves so much - his words soft with the smile that's already playing on his face. With the kiss comes electric tingles... and desire._

_Quickly getting in the mood, she moves her fingers into his hair. Tightening her grip, she deepens the kiss. There is nothing that turns him on more than her fingernails lightly raking over his scalp. A guttural moan passes through his lips as their mouths move together._

_When they part, Elena stoops down to take off his boots, lifting each leg to pull them off. While still on her knees, she reaches up to pull his jeans down, her hands caressing his legs on the way down. She stands again, lifts the hem of his shirt and he jerks it over his head, tossing it haphazardly behind him. Slowly considering him from head to toe, he watches as her eyes deepen to an almost black color. _

__"I love the way your skin feels against mine." Using feathery strokes she runs her hands over his chest. After y____anking her tank top over her head, ___she takes his hands and places one on each of her breasts, pressing her now straining nipples into his palms._

__Having Elena touch herself with his hands, to feel the perfect swell of her breasts is one of the most erotic things ever… His breathing is ragged as he fights his inner caveman not to scoop her up and toss her on the bed before she takes her next breath. Instead he waits, licking his lips as he enjoys her ministrations.__

_She steps away to move behind him. "I love the way it feels when your weight is pressing me into the mattress." Her mouth blazes fire on his bare skin. _

__Damon grits his teeth in a failing effort to restrain himself as she presses her body flush against his and runs her hands around his chest to tease his nipples. When a low inaudible moan escapes his mouth, ____Elena guides him to the bed and pushes him to sit. __

__Damon tugs on the waistband of the black lace panties she's wearing. With a wink she steps out of them and climbs onto his lap. He groans when she presses her warmth against him. His muscles flex in anticipation while his length throbs against her belly. __

_Elena raises her hips slightly to brush against it, his eyes drop closed at how good it feels. She arches her back and if he dips his head, he could latch onto one of her nipples. He wants her more than he's ever wanted anything in his life. _

_Reading his mind, Elena tangles her hands in his hair and pulls his head up to look into her eyes. He knows what she wants, it's what he wants too..._ _Everything._

_"I love how blue your eyes are and how much they reveal," Elena brushes her lips first to one lid then the other. _

__"I love your mouth, not just for the way you kiss me, but for the gorgeous smiles you give me when you think I'm not looking." She lightly kisses each corner. His body is on overdrive, desire coursing through him like a runaway locomotive. __

_Unable to wait any longer, Damon ___pushes her to lie on her back and spreads her legs. Elena attempts to tease him by closing them but quickly changes her mind when Damon lowers his mouth to her. Raw desire threatens to consume her whole and she throws her head back when he begins to lap hungrily. His tongue feels wonderful on her sensitive flesh, and she draws in a sharp breath as he plunges two fingers inside of her already pliant body. __

__Between the scrape of his teeth and his talented fingers, he has her trashing wildly in mere moments. With her orgasm rapidly approaching, Elena's lower abdomen begins to burn and tighten. Damon feels it too and doubles his efforts. Fisting her hands in his hair, she doesn't know if she wants to press him harder against her or pull him away to lessen the overwhelming intensity of it all. __

_Blistering heat spreads through her like wildfire. Seconds later, jolts of pure pleasure course through her body, shaking her to the core as she spasms against Damon's tongue._

_He doesn't give her any time to recover before positioning himself between her legs and entering her with one hard stroke. Leaning down to take a nipple into his mouth, he thrusts with deep strokes fueled by unbridled desire. _

_Moving with him, it doesn't take long before another orgasm starts to build. Elena rakes her nails down Damon's back and feels him increase his pace. He growls and grabs her wrists, pinning them above her head. She arches her back and closes her eyes. _

_"Open them, I want to see you," Damon breathes, his voice rough with desire. _

_It's difficult when she's so close but somehow she manages, locking hers with Damon's blue ones. Elena's normally brown eyes dilate almost black, lust and pleasure shining in them as another orgasm wracks her body. It throbs and burns like liquid fire searing her veins, making her vibrate and shake. _

_With a few last powerful strokes, Damon explodes deep inside as she slowly floats back to earth._

_They lay together on the bed, completely satisfied, and allow their breathing to become normal again. Elena has just barely regained the ability to think when she starts to panic, her face blooming red. "Oh my God, is that all on film?"_

_"Yes, it is babe, you were magnificent." _

_Elena groans, punches him on the shoulder and buries her head under the pillow._

_"Wait till you see it," he smirks, presses a kiss to her bare back before rolling off the bed to turn off the camera. _

* * *

A few weeks later:

"Are you ready for this?" Damon asks, sliding the DVD into the player before plopping onto the bed beside Elena.

"I agreed to make the damn tape but that doesn't mean I want to watch it." Elena doesn't share his enthusiasm about the prospect of watching their homemade sex tape.

"What was the point of making it then? Besides, don't you want to see us when we're...?" he raises his brows suggestively.

"Ugh," Elena grumbles and picks up her teddy bear.

"I watched that cheesy flick with you the other night. Tonight it's my turn to choose so we're watching this." Damon grabs the remote and is about to push play when he feels Elena's hand squeezing his wrist.

"I don't want to watch it."

Placing his free hand atop hers, he posits quietly, "Elena, you can't tell me that you're not even the least bit curious..."

"Don't give me that garbage. You just want to see how you look having sex."

"Well yeah!" he grins, "but mostly I want to see what _we _look having sex. There's a difference."

"Fine, just play the damn thing," Elena huffs as she pulls the blanket up so far that only her eyes are peeking out.

"Really? he scoffs, trying to pry it from her death grip. "Are you really going to hide under there?"

"Yep."

"Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?" he quips, eyeing her skeptically.

"I'll watch but you have to promise that you'll get rid of it as soon as we're through."

"Ugh, if you insist," he frowns but drops a kiss to the crown of her head.

"I do and you can start it now."

"That's my girl," he picks up the remote and promptly sets it back down. "Ooh, I have to get something, I'll be right back." He jumps out of bed and she hears his footsteps as he trots down the stairs. A few minutes later he returns with a bowl of homemade popcorn and a couple bottles of beer.

"You made popcorn and brought beer to watch porn?" Elena asks incredulously, her eyes darting around the room as if she's expecting a raid from the vice squad.

"What's a movie without beer and popcorn?" he shrugs as if it's no big deal.

"I'm in love with a perv," she rolls her eyes.

"Fine then," he huffs in mock annoyance. "I get the whole bowl to myself."

"How can you not be even a little..." Elena pauses looking for the right word, "I don't know, embarrassed maybe?"

"Seriously, Elena, why would I be? I have a great body," he runs his hands down his perfectly sculpted abs, "and my skills in the bedroom..., well you know all about them," he sing songs with a waggle of his brows. "So if that's what has you frazzled, you have nothing to worry about," he adds, giving her a panty dropping smile.

"Bullshit! You just want to see yourself naked," she shoots back.

"I want to see _you _naked too, Elena," he licks his lips with a long slow swipe.

"You're incorrigible! Just play the damn thing. The sooner we watch it, the sooner we can..."

"The sooner we can make a sequel?" he nudges her gently with his elbow, a shit-eating grin on his face.

Elena lets out a boisterous laugh, "There won't be a sequel," she looks at him trying to appear serious but he hears the mirth in her voice.

"Oh come on, you liked it and you know it," he teases, crawls up and snuggles into her neck, tickling her with wispy kisses.

Elena playfully pushes him back and sits up in bed, the blanket falling down her body. "I don't know... maybe," she replies with a sheepish smile as the familiar blush creeps onto her cheeks.

"Are you ready?" he asks and picks up the remote.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

* * *

Several minutes pass as they stare at the TV...

When this evening started, he hoped the pounding in his chest would be from watching with rapt attention as they watch themselves having sex. For some twisted reason, he's always wanted to see himself and Elena in the throes of passion. It always feels so mind numbingly spectacular that he figured reliving that night would be the ultimate in eroticism. Just the thought of her writhing beneath him or riding him into the stratosphere is such a turn on...

Whenever Damon would bring it up, Elena would roar with laughter and tell him he was nuts. Still she knows how persuasive he can be when he puts his flirt on. His first attempt was a romantic night with expensive champagne, fresh fruit, the finest chocolates, drippy candles and seduction. Although it ended with great sex, there was no camera. Another time he made the mistake of joking about recording them without her knowledge. That stunt resulted in a direct hit with him being summarily shown the couch along with a strategically placed ice pack. He was on the verge of throwing in the towel when Elena finally agreed, knowing how much it would mean to him. In shock, he had to ask her to repeat herself.

But instead of being mesmerized by the images of their bodies thrusting into one another, instead of hearing the moans and groans of their lovemaking, instead of seeing their sweat dampened bodies... they're watching scenes from last year's Founder's Day festivities.

"What the actual hell?" he looks at Elena in frustration.

"Uh Damon," she states the obvious, "That's not us."

"Really, I hadn't noticed," he deadpans.

"Are you really making jokes right now?"

"You have to admit it's kind of funny," he sniggers, winking at her.

"You have got to be kidding me, how can you be so flippant about this?"

"What?" he shrugs off the glare she's giving him.

"If we're watching this, where the hell is our tape and where are you going?"

"I must've grabbed the wrong one. I was in kind of a hurry, I mean, I really wanted to see your perfect little tush," he smiles while suggestively lowering and raising his brows.

"Damon, this is so not the time to flirt."

"Alright, calm down, I'll be right back with the correct one.

* * *

Slowly he walks back to their bedroom clutching the disc in his hand.

"Oh thank God, Damon, you found it." The elation in her voice is unmistakable.

"I told you there was nothing to worry about. Are we ready to try this again?"

"I was ready to do it for real the last time," she raises an eyebrow.

"Right..." he says, slipping the DVD into the player.

Minutes later, he lays across the bed, his head and upper back propped up by a pillow with his legs crossed as the ankles, and popcorn bowl in his lap. Elena, on the other hand has buried herself beneath the comforter again.

"Ready?" he asks, having found the remote and chomping at the bit to push the play button.

"Yep." he hears Elena mumble.

"Don't suffocate under there."

"Ha-ha, very funny," she deadpans. "Just play the damn thing already."

"With pleasure," he smiles and presses the button.

He adjusts the pillows behind him to get comfortable, his body's already becoming excited with the prospect of what they're about to see. "How are you doing under there?" Damon chuckles, lifting up the comforter to look at her.

"I won't know what's going on if you don't shut up."

"You were there, Elena," he teases her with his eye thing.

"Damon," Elena flings off the cover, "are you going to push play or not?"

"You're beautiful when your fuse is lit," he blurts out, more to annoy her than anything else.

Elena shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "Damon," she smacks him with her pillow.

Just then the screen comes into focus, Elena quickly tucks herself back under the covers as he sits straight up in the bed, staring at the screen with a broad smile on his face, not wanting to miss even a millisecond._ Finally_ the main event.

He stares at the TV screen in shock, instead of seeing Elena, he sees... _Fuck_...

_If you want my body and you think I'm sexy_

_Come on sugar let me know. _

_If you really need me just reach out and touch me _

_Come on baby tell me so._

Instead of the cocky smirk on his face, he's now wearing a scowl.

"I know that song," Elena squeals. "That's Rod Stewart's, "_Da Ya Think I'm Sexy_!" She hurriedly throws the covers off herself.

"How did this hap..." Elena's voice trails off never finishing her sentence when she looks at the screen, her brows instantly furrowing in confusion.

Finally snapping out of his stupor, he fumbles around for the remote to shut it off before anymore can be seen while Elena sits up in bed, completely fascinated by what she's seeing.

"That's you," she points at the screen, a wide open-mouthed smile on her face.

He momentarily pauses his mad search for the remote to look at the screen just in time to watch himself strip off his shirt and throw it on the floor with a flourish as he sings along while saucily wagging his index finger at the camera, a self satisfied smirk on his face._ "If you really need me just reach out and touch me... Come on sugar let me know."_

"Oh my God," Elena exclaims before breaking into a fit of uproarious laughter.

_If you really, really, really, really need me_

_Just let me know_

_Just reach out and touch me _

_If you really want me_

_Just reach out and touch me_

_Come on baby let me know..._

"Damon, you slay me...," she's practically rolling as she wipes away her now free flowing tears.

As humiliating as this is, Damon has to admit he does have the moves.

"You're a horrid dancer," Elena snorts with more laughter.

On screen he's singing the song, running his hands down his bare belly and cupping his junk. When he turns so his back is facing the camera, he sticks out his fine ass and begins to knead his flesh. Now it's Damon's turn to bury his head under the covers as Elena's laughing so hard that her breathing turns ragged.

"My belly hurts!" she glances at him and doubles over yet again.

"I can't watch anymore of this," he turns to look for the remote.

"Oh, come on, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing _with_ you," she snorts, patting his thigh with her palm.

"Breaking news, Elena, I'm not laughing," he points at himself.

"Well, why not? This is freaking hilarious. It's got to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen," Elena cackles, wiggling her body to the beat of the music as she stares at the screen.

He looks at the TV to see himself strutting across the room, using a hairbrush as a microphone while singing,_ "And I'm too sexy for this song." _

Suddenly it ends and the screen turns black. He shakes his head back and forth, glad it's over but leaves him to wonder what the hell he was thinking? Maybe he can lie and say he drank copious amounts of alcohol because that's the only plausible excuse he can come up with on the fly.

After it ends, Elena stands up on the bed and begins clapping wildly while hooting, wolf whistling and demanding an encore.

"I don't think so."

"That's the best thing ever. If I had known that was on a DVD I would have watched it ages ago," Elena collapses on the bed with a bounce. "Do you do have more?" she starts laughing all over again.

He lets out a bewildered moan before answering truthfully. "No!" he scoffs. "I was just messing around one day. At the time I thought it would look sexy, but damn, I looked psychotic. Honestly I thought I had recorded over it with our own little performance." He waggles his brows at her playfully.

"Oh no," Elena speaks up, "our_ performance_ as you call it has nothing on you. Show me that one move again where you turn around and smack your..."

He pounces on Elena quickly to cover her mouth with his hand as they collide on the bed, stopping her from finishing her sentence.

"What do I have to do to guarantee that you will never mention this again?"

"But Damon, that was priceless. There is nothing you can bribe or persuade me with to keep this quiet," Elena giggles.

"This isn't funny," he cringes, rolling off of Elena to lay next to her on the bed.

"Then we obviously weren't watching the same thing, because what I saw was hysterical._ If you want my body and you think I'm sexy,"_ Elena begins to sing with a smile on her lips.

He soon finds himself chuckling along with her as she sings, their legs tangled together.

"My favorite part was those hips thrusts," she grins.

"Oh really?" he asks, "I'd be more than happy to show them to you." He drops his voice an octave and stares at her mouth that's curved into a sexy smile. "They're really best when we're horizonal, preferably with you naked underneath me," he murmurs huskily.

"Really, well do you want to demonstrate them to me?" she speaks in a low sultry voice.

He quickly brings his mouth down, searing their lips together. He runs the tip of his tongue along her bottom one, wordlessly seeking entrance. When she obliges, he dives into her open mouth, his tongue tangling with hers. He loves the feel of her body beneath his. He starts to slowly grind into her, eliciting a moan. He secretly hopes to obliterate any and all lasting images of his one man striptease with some mind numbingly glorious sex.

Just as he's about to drag his hand lower to the zipper on her jeans, voices come from the TV. Breaking away, he looks up to see what's showing this time. On the screen is his _too sexy _self and Elena... together... in their bed.

"Finally the good stuff!" he pumps his fist in the air.

"Nuh-uh, _Mr. Too Sexy_," she moves to kiss him again.

"Right after we watch this," he points to the screen. "It is us, I wonder how I managed that?"

"Oh my God!" Elena squeals and buries her head in the crook of his neck after catching a quick glimpse of them together on screen.

As the DVD continues, he finds himself becoming uncharacteristically anxious about his moves. With Elena curled into him, they watch themselves joined intimately. She keeps her head buried in his neck but every now and then she looks up and quickly turns away while Damon places his hands over his lips, pursing them together in fascination as he stares intently at the screen.

"Elena, is my gut really that pouchy?"

"My ass is hu..."

"Well yeah."

Elena glares and pinches him hard, twisting his flesh before letting go.

"Ow!" I meant that in a good way," he hisses, rubbing the sore spot on his arm. "Well the ten pound myth is crap, my," his eyes drop to his crotch, "is way bigger than that."

"I can't believe you winked for the camera," Elena swats his chest lightly.

"I forgot how vocal you can be," he boasts proudly.

"Or I was just trying to stoke your ego," she whispers under her breath.

"What?"

"Never mind," she pats his leg.

"Do I really make all that noise?" Damon turns to face her

"Look how flushed my body is?" Elena remarks.

"Me," he points his index fingers at the corners of his mouth, giving her a devilish grin.

"Yes you," she rolls her eyes playfully and presses a kiss to his lips.

"We should do this again..."

"Ewww," is Elena's only response which causes him to chuckle. "Do I really make that face when I... uh... you know?"

"No, Elena, I don't know..."

"Damon!?"

"Elena," he echoes.

"When I...," she whispers with a blush.

"Elena, why are you whispering? We're alone. And you look magnificent when surrender yourself to it."

"I don't think so," she shudders with a grimace.

"Uh, I could've sworn we went at it longer than that," he utters.

"I thought so too."

"Oh well, it was something else though right?" he winks at her.

"Yes, something else alright, it was mortifying."

"It was hot," he playfully elbows her side.

"Maybe certain parts," she admits begrudgingly as a smile creeps onto her face.

"I like it when I make you scream," he speaks in Elena's ear, then moves his lips to lightly kiss her mouth.

"So...?" Elena lets the words linger.

"So," he repeats, "how about an encore?"

"Does the term "are you mad" mean anything to you?"

"You're not even a little turned on?"

"I didn't say anything about not being in the mood... I just don't want to make another porno."

His brows shoot up in excitement and then he leans in to join their lips in a searing kiss. Damon pulls Elena closer, wanting to feel her pressed against him. He cups her face as he continues to taste her while her thumbs stroke jaw line. Just as he's about to nudge Elena to lay down, she pushes him away, stopping him in his tracks.

"Elena?" he whines.

"I changed my mind, I'm ready for that encore."

"Really?" he squeals excitedly.

"Yes, I am. Stay here, I'll be right back." She gives him a quick kiss and jumps off the bed.

Elena picks up her phone to turn on Pandora. Seconds later, the unmistakable sound of "_Da Ya Think I'm _Sexy" fills the room. "I think we need to make a second video... of you busting those dance moves," she eyes him devilishly.

"Do you now?" he grins, pulling her back onto the bed.

"Definitely," Elena bobs her head as she kneels beside him, "Rod Stewart has nothing on you."

"Well obviously," he shrugs his shoulders in mock flippancy. Elena laughs.

"But this time, I think we should make it a duet. What do you say?" he arches an eyebrow at her.

Elena sucks her lower lip between her teeth as if needing to ponder the question and answers with one of her own. "Do I have to sing along?"

"Absolutely," he moves his hand to her neck, brushes away her hair and kisses her behind the ear.

"Do I have to dance?"

"Mmm-hmmm," he murmurs bringing his lips to the other side of her face.

"What about a striptease?"

"Oh, that's a must," he waggles his brows.

Elena laughs as he begins to pepper her face with kisses... She sighs dreamily at the attention he's giving her. "Get the cam..."

Before Elena can even finish the word, he has it in his hands.

"So... Damon, da ya think I'm sexy?" Elena teases, tantalizing him by slowly sucking a finger into her mouth.

_Damn, he's a lucky man._

"Oh sweetheart, you have no idea," he drawls in a low voice as they crash into the bed together.

* * *

_Hope you have the most amazing birthday, Eva. You're the best. _

_HUGE thanks to Florencia7 for beta reading this for me and for the synopsis. She writes Damon and Elena like no one else so check out her stories. I'm sure I've mentioned it before but her "Perchance to Dream" is my ultimate favorite but they're all amazing. _

_Eva and I are still on our hiatus. I do post teasers on my scarlett2112 facebook page. I recently posted the cover image for "South of Santa Fe" ;) __The address is in my profile, you need to copy and paste. We're working hard and ideally I want to have two longer multi-chapter stories written before we return. _

_We hope to see you sooner rather than later. _

_Can't wait to hear our thoughts._

_Have a safe and wonderful weekend... _


End file.
